I want you to know that there’s no one better than you. There’s no one that IS you.
I want you to know that we are all busy falling and failing, no matter how beautiful the ‘store front’ may be.
I want you to know that the only way anyone appears to ‘have it all together’ is by accepting and making peace with the regular falling apart.
I want you to know that the people you think are ‘doing it all’ are only achieving bits and pieces of their wants too, and when they drop the ball, they’re making peace with it…
We fall apart. We feel down. We feel low. We achieve big things and then we suddenly feel like the big thing is too heavy, and the weight squashes us.
We feel the heaviness, we acknowledge its presence. We ask what our mind and body needs from us, and we take the time to respect that need.
Is it completing a challenging task? Is it a face mask? Is it having a difficult conversation? is it a bath? Is it re-microwaving your coffee for the 50th time?
Or, is it highly more likely that the thing your body and mind needs from you, is for you to see your ‘failings’ and your ‘mistakes’. To really see them, feel them, and then let them go? For you to accept that these moments and these feelings of being less than are human, normal, natural?
Have you ever told yourself that you’ve failed? That you’re rubbish? That you messed up? That you’re not good enough?
Now, after that, did you get mad at yourself for any of the above? Are you mad because you failed? Are you mad at your mistakes? Do they sit and rot, and eat away at your soul?
What if, the next time you tried something and you failed, or you tried to be calm and you were snappy, or you tried to do something and you felt you couldn’t… what if instead of the vicious circle of self deprecation, you stopped it right there?
What if you looked at the mistake, or the failure, you sat with it, and you made peace with it, because you’re human.
Humans mess up. They fail sometimes. They have a plethora of emotions and cannot always keep calm in moments of stress, even if they want to. Humans make the most awful mistakes sometimes… it’s what makes us whole.
What if you tried acceptance, and apologised?
What if that apology was to yourself, for ever thinking that it wasn’t okay to make a mistake or feel bad?
It is SO easy to get stuck in a cycle of ‘try, fail, beat self up, feel worse, feel stuck’.
When you’re feeling like you’re failing, or you’re feeling like you’re not doing enough, being enough, being gentle enough, being busy enough, being motivated enough, being small enough, being big enough, being healthy enough, being open enough, being motherly enough etc…
Say – it’s okay. What’s the worst that can happen from this? Can I say sorry if I’ve snapped at someone? Did I have a lot on? Am I just too tired? How’s my cup doing, have I tired myself out too much? I’m human and it’s okay to be in this moment. I’m human. I can have my bad moments. I can feel these bad feelings too. I’m allowed. These feelings are as valid and important as the good ones. This is how I grow.
Give yourself the permission to feel the bad feelings.
By continuing with feeling bad about feeling bad, we start a cycle… we cycle the bad. The negative. We focus on only the bad, and begin the self deprecation. This doesn’t serve anyone, even if you hurt someone.
If your mistake was hurting someone, the absolute last thing they want to hear is how awful YOU feel. So grab yourself by the balls, say SORRY if it’s something that requires it, because we’ve all been absolute shit heads at times, but we don’t have to live there forever.
We have to keep moving.
This post is for the amazing, strong, kind, caring, supportive, badass, incredible, tired, world changing, sleepy, human, women that I am BLESSED to have in my life, either in real life or virtually…
Every, single one of you. Yes. Even you.
I’m grateful for every single one of you.
Keeping falling, keep failing, keep questioning, keep FEELING. You’ve GOT THIS.